Lisa & Rasheida https://lisaandrasheida.com/ Thu, 13 Apr 2023 00:10:14 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://lisaandrasheida.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/New-Project-2-100x100.png Lisa & Rasheida https://lisaandrasheida.com/ 32 32 Pride! https://lisaandrasheida.com/pride/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/pride/#respond Tue, 28 Jun 2022 03:51:56 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=511 As June draws to a close, I, as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, want to acknowledge that June is Pride Month. It is a time when the world openly...

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As June draws to a close, I, as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, want to acknowledge that June is Pride Month. It is a time when the world openly recognizes and celebrates self-affirmation, diversity, dignity, love, acceptance, and equality, which are values we embrace every day of our lives.

The rainbow flag is the most recognizable symbol of Pride, with each color holding its own significance. Hot pink represents sex, red signifies life, orange represents healing, yellow radiates sunlight, green invokes nature, turquoise inspires magic and art, indigo (royal blue) means serenity, and violet distinguishes the spirit.

Pride Month started with the first pride march in 1970, and Harvey Milk, a gay politician, asked a friend to design a flag that represented the energy of the people at the march. The result was the rainbow flag, which has become a staple at Pride events worldwide.

The first pride march was held on June 28th, 1970, in New York City, to honor the Stonewall Riots, which occurred on June 28, 1969. The Stonewall Inn, a gay club, was subjected to brutal police raids, which sparked the gay rights movement. June 28th is now celebrated as Pride Day.

Pride Month is a time to celebrate with parades, makeup, costumes, rallies, and glitter. However, it is also a time to remember those who have struggled before us and to raise awareness about issues that affect our community, such as HIV/AIDS, suicide, and hate crimes.

Live proud, live free. Let me be me, and I’ll let you be you. We don’t have to agree, but we can respect each other.

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Will the Smith saga continue to rock the world? Blame Jada… https://lisaandrasheida.com/will-the-smith-saga-continue-to-rock-the-world-blame-jada/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/will-the-smith-saga-continue-to-rock-the-world-blame-jada/#respond Fri, 20 May 2022 01:11:13 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=486 The recent incident involving Will Smith and the Academy’s decision to suspend him for 10 years has been a hot topic online. In this article, we’ll discuss the punishment and...

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The recent incident involving Will Smith and the Academy’s decision to suspend him for 10 years has been a hot topic online. In this article, we’ll discuss the punishment and how it relates to institutional racism. Additionally, we’ll address the rumors surrounding Will’s marriage with Jada Pinkett-Smith.

Firstly, the Academy’s decision to suspend Will Smith for 10 years seems excessive. Will Smith has a history of charitable work and has no widely known enemies. While it’s important to hold individuals accountable for their actions, the punishment seems to be a ploy to make an example for future encounters. It also raises concerns of institutional racism, as black men often receive harsher sentences than their white counterparts. In the history of the Academy, only five people have been expelled, four for sexual misconduct and one for copyright infringement.

Moving on to Will’s marriage with Jada Pinkett-Smith, there has been much speculation surrounding their relationship. However, their marriage is consensual and private, and it’s not for others to judge. On the Red Table Talk web series, Will & Jada discussed a time when Jada was unhappy, and Will encouraged her to go find her own happiness. While society may think Will should leave Jada, it’s not our place to interfere.

Furthermore, Jada is a strong woman who can handle herself, and it’s not up to Will to protect her at all times. In any healthy relationship, both parties establish boundaries and respect each other’s wishes. Blaming Jada for Will’s decisions is unfair and reminiscent of the old debate of victim-blaming.

In conclusion, the punishment handed down to Will Smith seems excessive, and the discussion surrounding his marriage with Jada Pinkett-Smith is not our business. It’s important to respect others’ privacy and not judge their relationships without proper context.

Photo Credit: Brides.com

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Why so much pressure? https://lisaandrasheida.com/why-so-much-pressure/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/why-so-much-pressure/#respond Fri, 20 May 2022 01:07:42 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=500 In today’s fast-paced and demanding world, it’s no surprise that mental health has become a critical topic for everyone. From the pressures we face in our youth to the challenges...

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In today’s fast-paced and demanding world, it’s no surprise that mental health has become a critical topic for everyone. From the pressures we face in our youth to the challenges we encounter as adults, mental health issues impact our lives in various ways, and it’s crucial to acknowledge and address them. In this article, we’ll explore the different stages of life and the mental health challenges that may arise, as well as provide resources for those in need of support.

Growing up, we experience a multitude of pressures from our parents, teachers, and peers. The expectations to excel academically, athletically, and socially can often feel overwhelming. Additionally, navigating the complexities of adolescence, such as puberty and finding our place among our peers, can further contribute to stress and anxiety.

As we transition into adulthood, we must learn to become self-sufficient and find our own path. This new stage of life can be riddled with uncertainty and loneliness, as we leave behind our familiar support systems and venture into the unknown. Adapting to new environments and responsibilities can be challenging, and the stress of adulting – including financial obligations, career choices, and personal relationships – can take a toll on our mental health.

In recent years, the world has faced unprecedented challenges, including the COVID-19 pandemic, which has resulted in widespread social isolation, economic strain, and anxiety. The ongoing threat of global conflict only adds to the daily stress and uncertainty we all face. As a result, mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), have become even more prevalent.

Given the multitude of pressures we face in today’s world, it’s essential to recognize the importance of mental health and seek help when needed. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, grief, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or eating disorders, please consider reaching out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Keywords: mental health, pressures, adolescence, adulthood, anxiety, depression, stress, COVID-19, PTSD, SAMHSA

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Mental Health steals the show! https://lisaandrasheida.com/mental-health-steals-the-show/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/mental-health-steals-the-show/#respond Wed, 30 Mar 2022 15:05:33 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=469 The 2022 Oscars were anticipated to be a groundbreaking event, marking significant progress in Hollywood’s diversity and inclusion efforts. Samuel L. Jackson, a renowned and hardworking actor, was finally recognized...

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The 2022 Oscars were anticipated to be a groundbreaking event, marking significant progress in Hollywood’s diversity and inclusion efforts. Samuel L. Jackson, a renowned and hardworking actor, was finally recognized for his incredible achievements both on and off the screen. Denzel Washington highlighted Jackson’s numerous contributions to the community, making his award long overdue and well-deserved.

History was also made at the 2022 Oscars as Will Packer led the first-ever all-black production team. Communities across the nation hosted viewing parties to celebrate this significant milestone. However, the accomplishments of Jackson and Packer were overshadowed by an unexpected incident involving Willard Carroll Smith Jr., also known as Will Smith, and comedian Chris Rock.

The altercation between Smith and Rock revealed a deeper issue beyond the surface – mental health struggles among celebrities. The public breakdown of Will Smith, similar to that of Kanye West, highlights the importance of acknowledging and addressing mental health issues, regardless of one’s status, fame, or wealth.

Both Smith and West have openly discussed their personal traumas and challenges, but they have yet to find solace or healing in the public eye. Society often dismisses the struggles of celebrities, assuming that money and fame offer immunity from the pressures of life. This misconception prevents individuals like Smith and West from seeking the help they need without fear of ridicule or judgment.

In the case of Smith, the incident at the Oscars could be seen as a blessing in disguise. Had it occurred under different circumstances, it might have resulted in more severe consequences. Chris Rock’s restraint and maturity in handling the situation allowed for a more compassionate response, potentially opening the door for Smith to get the help he has needed.

Mental health is an important issue that affects everyone, regardless of their status or success. We must learn to be more compassionate, allowing people the space and support they need to take care of their mental health without judgment.

Ultimately, we must prioritize self-care and seek help when needed, without waiting for the permission or approval of others. The 2022 Oscars serve as a powerful reminder that, despite the progress we’ve made in embracing diversity, there’s still much work to be done in addressing mental health issues and providing support to those who need it most.

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WNBA: The New Frontier! https://lisaandrasheida.com/wnba-the-new-frontier/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/wnba-the-new-frontier/#respond Fri, 03 Dec 2021 17:46:26 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=370 Celebrate the WNBA’s 25th Anniversary: A Journey Through Women’s Basketball, Gender Identity, and LGBTQ Acceptance The Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) marks its 25th anniversary season, celebrating incredible female athletes...

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Celebrate the WNBA’s 25th Anniversary: A Journey Through Women’s Basketball, Gender Identity, and LGBTQ Acceptance

The Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) marks its 25th anniversary season, celebrating incredible female athletes and their accomplishments on the court. With a rich history beginning before many current players were born, the WNBA has evolved significantly over time. From Ann Meyers’ NBA tryout to Cheryl Miller’s legendary performance, women’s basketball has come a long way.

In its 25-year journey, the WNBA has seen the rise of marquee players like Leslie, Lobo, and Swoopes, and experienced a shift in attitude towards LGBTQ+ acceptance. The league has progressed from a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach to promoting LGBTQ+ awareness and pride. The WNBA’s dedication to addressing social injustices and embracing diversity has set it apart from other major sports.

As the WNBA celebrates 25 years, we also recognize that about 50% of its athletes are openly LGBTQ+. The 2021 WNBA All-Star game was even dubbed the “gayest” professional basketball game ever. This prompts the question of whether male athletes will ever enjoy the same level of freedom in expressing their sexuality.

Society’s acceptance of LGBTQ+ female athletes seems to outpace that of their male counterparts. Only a few male athletes in major sports have come out as gay or bisexual during their careers, such as Carl Nassib in the NFL and Jason Collins in the NBA. This disparity raises questions about the role of male ego, societal expectations, and the perception of dominance in these differences.

The lesbian community’s unique dynamics, such as the formation of cliques and the complexity of relationships, also impact the WNBA. Locker room romances and potential breakups could have long-term implications on team dynamics, professionalism, and the league’s overall success. The WNBA may need to address these challenges in the future to maintain a thriving and inclusive environment.

Additionally, the league must navigate the evolving conversation around gender identity in sports. Layshia Clarendon, a non-binary transgender WNBA athlete, exemplifies this shift. As more transgender athletes emerge, questions arise about fairness in competition, potential separate leagues, and the role of hormone treatments in performance. The future of the WNBA and professional sports will undoubtedly feature fascinating discussions on these topics.

As the WNBA celebrates its 25th anniversary season, we honor the incredible women who have made the league what it is today. The journey has been marked by groundbreaking achievements, a commitment to social justice, and an embrace of diversity. The future holds much promise for the WNBA as it continues to evolve and grow.

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Mental Health in athletes https://lisaandrasheida.com/mental-health-in-athletes/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/mental-health-in-athletes/#respond Wed, 10 Nov 2021 17:50:03 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=385 Athletes navigating the Pressures of Life: Mental Health in Today’s World In the last few years, especially after this past year and a half of a pandemic, there are at...

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Athletes navigating the Pressures of Life: Mental Health in Today’s World

In the last few years, especially after this past year and a half of a pandemic, there are at least two words that have become a household topic.  It’s not as if this was never important before, but COVID-19 has thrust us into REALLY having to take a hard look!  MENTAL HEALTH is no longer a passive or taboo discussion.  We have learned that Mental Health is probably the topic we should be addressing as much as cancer, AIDS, or any other medical ailment.  Moreso because our mental health directly impacts our physical and spiritual ability to deal with the othersAccording to the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMH), 1 in 5 Americans suffer from Mental Illness each year.  75% of lifetime mental illness begins between the ages of 14 and 24.  When we think of those humans affected, we tend to not think about the wealth, fame status , or  athletes.   It seems our expectation is that folks of a certain class or status are immune.   Although we have seen the likes of Whitney Houston, Prince, John Ritter, Robin Williams, Michael Phelps and others fall, somehow we still have this perception that depression is reserved for the poor or less fortunate.  Somehow, we collectively respond in SHOCK and AWE, as if this hasn’t happened before.  In the wake of recent revelations of  two young female athletes, Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles, have publicly taken a stand and opened  up about their own battles with mental health issues–here we are SHOCKED again!   I am personally proud of both of them for drawing a line for themselves.  Clearly, their collective wellness is NOT what is most important for America.  We just want them to “shut up and dribble”–I think that is how one commentator referenced Lebron James for taking a stand on another issue. Sorry, I digressed!

May 2021, Naomi Osaka withdrew from the French Open.  Naomi boycotted the press events and was fined $15,000.  She was called a “Diva”.  Naomi disclosed that she had been battling social anxiety and depression.  She has always appeared to be  an introvert and after winning her 1st US Open Championship in 2018, the press left a not so pleasing impression on her.  She found herself nervous and, ultimately, too stressed to engage.

2021 Tokyo Olympics, the young woman known as the G.O.A.T. of gymnastics, the 7 medal Olympian, Simone Biles, withdrew from the team all-around competition.  Biles admitted to having issues with mental health in the past.  This time was different for her.  Biles was worried for her well-being.  The stress of the Olympic process, followed by a pandemic, the Olympic wait, then Olympic trials again, stress of the Olympics, and the stress of the week took  a toll on her.  Gymnastics was no longer fun and risking the American team a medal due to lack of focus wasn’t an option for her.  Michael Phelps, in agreement with Simone stated, “being an Olympic athlete is overwhelming. You feel like you have the weight of the country on your shoulders.  It can be lonely.  All you want is someone you can trust, that will let us be ourselves, someone that listens, allows you to be vulnerable, someone that doesn’t have expectations, but, most importantly, someone who is not gonna try to fix us.”  Biles said it best, “It is ok to not be ok.”

On the other hand,  track star, Sha’Carri Richardson,  was kicked off the Olympic team because she tested positive for marijuana after her Olympic trial win.  ShaCarri’s mother passed away and a week later she was running in the Olympic trials.  She says she didn’t know any other way to deal with all the grief and pressure she was under so she turned to marijuana to help her relax.  Richardson was criticized for her method of dealing with her mental health issues.

Americans are fickle.  Society has become polarized.  You are either a “Winner” or a “Quitter”.  This view is a reason why the conversations are hard to have in society.  Some people take days, weeks, months off for physical health.  Mental health is even more important to the recovery process. .  Recognize the issue, then take a step away to regroup, even if it is the biggest game of your life. These people (athletes, singers, actors, doctors, nurses, janitors etc)  have a responsibility to take care of themselves before helping America (win any more medals).  The audacity of us to collectively think they should sacrifice more of themselves.  For those who disagree, I have 2 simple questions, who are you?  What are you sacrificing for America?

If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression, anxiety, grief, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and eating disorders please call Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Photo credit: Sydney Campbell-www.thepalmettopanther.com

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The Landslide continues: A sad day for New York https://lisaandrasheida.com/the-landslide-continues-a-sad-day-for-new-york/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/the-landslide-continues-a-sad-day-for-new-york/#respond Mon, 25 Oct 2021 17:51:31 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=388 Amidst sexual misconduct allegations, the Democratic Party loses an effective leader with a rich legacy of accomplishments. In a time of heightened accountability, influential men like Andrew Cuomo, the 56th...

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Amidst sexual misconduct allegations, the Democratic Party loses an effective leader with a rich legacy of accomplishments.

In a time of heightened accountability, influential men like Andrew Cuomo, the 56th Governor of New York, face scrutiny for past actions. Cuomo, who held office from 2011 until his resignation on August 23, 2021, stepped down amidst sexual misconduct allegations that cast a shadow on his political future. Although there is no concrete evidence supporting the accusations, they have significantly impacted the political climate and the Democratic Party’s leadership in New York.

Andrew Cuomo, a once-promising political figure with an impressive track record, has been known for his charisma and effectiveness in office. During his tenure, Cuomo championed various legislative accomplishments, including the Marriage Equality Act (2011), the Compassionate Care Act (2014), and the Marijuana Regulation & Taxation Act (2021). As a staunch advocate for stricter gun laws, Cuomo also created a $10 million legal defense fund for immigrants, offered tax breaks for union workers, and reinstated a tax on millionaires’ income.

Despite the lack of evidence against Cuomo, the allegations have caused significant damage to his reputation and the Democratic Party’s credibility in New York. It raises questions about the effectiveness of addressing past issues in a changed climate, with some parallels drawn to the controversy surrounding Brett Kavanaugh’s yearbook photo from 1984.

The culture of harassment and misconduct has deep roots in our society, with men like Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump facing similar accusations. The problem, however, transcends individual actions and reflects a broader systemic issue that dates back generations. Insights from older generations, such as those shared by a 96-year-old grandmother in the upcoming book “Just Keep Living: Conversations with Granny,” can provide valuable context and understanding of the issue’s complexity.

In conclusion, the resignation of Andrew Cuomo highlights the need for ongoing conversations about accountability and the implications of past actions on the present political landscape. The Democratic Party in New York faces an uncertain future without Cuomo’s leadership, as they grapple with the consequences of a changing climate and the impact of allegations on their party’s reputation.

Photo credit: Time.com

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Bill Cosby Case: The Other Angles https://lisaandrasheida.com/bill-cosby-case-the-other-angles/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/bill-cosby-case-the-other-angles/#respond Thu, 12 Aug 2021 17:53:55 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=395 On July 28th, 2021, Bill Cosby was released from prison after serving 2 years into a 3-10 year prison term.  In April 2018, Cosby was found guilty on 3 counts...

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On July 28th, 2021, Bill Cosby was released from prison after serving 2 years into a 3-10 year prison term.  In April 2018, Cosby was found guilty on 3 counts of aggravated indecent assault. As soon as the news spread of Cosby’s release, the internet went crazy. There are so many opinions about the reason for his release, whether he has been appropriately punished, and/or if the community should still respect him for the things he has done prior to this conviction. No one will ever truly know the truth of what took place, but there are a few things that this case made me think about.

For instance, let’s assume Cosby did what he is accused of… It is hard to hold men accountable for behavior that the male patriarchy has allowed to exist all these years.  Masters took slaves in the field and raped them. President Jefferson had multiple children with Sally Hemings.  It’s hard to prosecute people/men that came up in a time when that certain behavior was acceptable. This does not justify it, but Bill Cosby is 73.  He is, more than likely, not the same person he was 20 years ago. Who is?  BUT, if he is 73 and still doing this mess, lock his ass up!  Even if it is just for the drugs he admitted to having.  What about the lady who lied about Emmitt Till?  When are we going to lock her up?  She cost him his life, but it happened at a time when it was acceptable to take the word of a white woman over a colored anybody.   Again,  I’m not saying this excuses it, but all men in a certain age group did those kinds of things.

Point 2:  The assault happened to 50+ women.  We can be honest and admit that if two women know a secret, it is not a secret.  Not always, but 85% of the time.  Monica Lewinsky gave the president fellatio, told one person, and the news went international.  It’s hard to believe that all these women were affected, nobody’s lines crossed.  For those women truly affected, I understand the trauma they are going through.  As an abuse survivor myself, I have had many therapy sessions discussing the trauma.  I learned a few key things; It was not my fault, I must forgive my abuser so I can move forward (Not for them, but for myself), and I also need to take a level of responsibility.  At some point during the abuse, we thought “I shouldn’t be here” and asked “why am I in this situation?”.  Deal with reality and stop being victims.  Sounds harsh, but sometimes it is what we need to hear.  We have to take some level of responsibility too.  Most crimes are committed against you by people who are familiar.  That is why this whole idea of black on black crime is silly.   Everyone who commits crime does so in his/her own backyard.  Except the government!  That is another blog topic.  My point is that we can find tons of data to suggest that women are often victims because (we) choose to ignore all of the “red” flags.  We prefer to romanticize reality until it comes crashing down.  Again. I am NOT removing responsibility from the criminal or perpetrator.  I am saying we are responsible for our own self preservation and power above all else. “To thine ownself be true?”

Point 3:  It’s ironic.  Black people are quick to scream, “The system (judicial) doesn’t work for us.”  Bill Cosby was able to use the system the way it is supposed to be used, the way every American should be able to use it.  He had the means to afford the counsel that could find where the system messed up.  The prosecutors made a deal with Cosby.  They were so caught up in convicting him, they fabricated a deal and broke the law to lock him up.  If they would have sifted through the women, found out which accusations were legitimate, prosecuted on those charges, and aligned the punishment with the law at the time it happened, they may have gotten a clean conviction.  The prosecutors were so caught up in the noise that Cosby was released, they may get disbarred, and the state of PA is under investigation.  You would think something would have been learned from the OJ Simpson trial.

Society’s opinions about Cosby’s release are diverse.  The Bible calls it double-minded.  Some are glad Cosby is free.  Some want him locked up, barring it’s for the appropriate crime. They are mad the system broke the law & Cosby had to be let out.  Bill Cosby has been spoken highly of and had his name dragged through the mud.  A lot of people have spoken bad of him and spent money that he has donated to Spellman, Morehouse, and Howard.  Everyone has an opinion, but my grandmother’s words ring loud and clear for me.  In her words,  “Let God do his job. The rest of us need to mind our own business.”

Photo credit: pagesix.com

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Sha’Carri Richardson: Live, Learn, and Look ahead https://lisaandrasheida.com/shacarri-richardson-live-learn-and-look-ahead/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/shacarri-richardson-live-learn-and-look-ahead/#respond Thu, 22 Jul 2021 17:52:47 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=391 In recent weeks, there has been an overwhelming amount of silly chatter pertaining to Sha’Carri Richardson, the 21-year-old female track star that tested positive for THC, a chemical in marijuana,...

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In recent weeks, there has been an overwhelming amount of silly chatter pertaining to Sha’Carri Richardson, the 21-year-old female track star that tested positive for THC, a chemical in marijuana, and was disqualified from the 2021 Tokyo Olympics.  Some think her punishment is well deserved and others believe the punishment is too harsh–citing that olympic criteria should be reviewed or changed to allow Richardson to compete.

While I too would love to see Richardson “crush” the competition,  I can’t help but be frustrated by the confusing comments.  The bible might refer to this as “double minded”.  We can’t decide what we want or what is right or wrong.  Ah, ha…finally!  This is why the world is in so much turmoil?!  Sorry, I digressed.

On one hand I am reflecting on general comments often made about 20 somethings or just younger generations in general.   We have many preconceived notions about each generation but when it comes to Millennials (25-40 yr olds) and Z’s (younger than 24) they have been labeled as the most irresponsible.  It is said that “they lack drive and the old school values’ ‘.   So here is my confusion.  Sha’Carri Richardson did exactly the opposite of what we say young people do.  She didn’t make up an excuse.  She did recite the difficulties and complexities of her life and how those things impacted her decision.  Plain and simple…Life circumstances SUCK sometimes and we have to find a way to cope!   Sha’Carri told the media that she was under a lot of pressure, and she needed to relax after finding out her biological mother passed away.   It could not have been more simple.  By the way, she didn’t owe that to anyone except herself (IJS).  She was sincerely disappointed in herself, and took the weight of her misjudgments very seriously. It was straightforward.  Finally, we have a Z’er to show us the level of response and maturity we want them to display.   She understands that as an elite athlete, she should not be indulging in the use of marijuana, but she is human–not superhuman.  We should be applauding her for her honesty and holding her up as an example to others her age (and some older).

So, I ask the question, why are some of us having a problem with this straightforward situation?  Why do we need to add drama?   Somebody please explain how this morphed into a racial issue?   Why do we ask them to be responsive and responsible but then make up reasons to erode the effort?   Richardson and Michael Phelps, really?  The two situations are completely different.    A picture of Michael Phelps, arguably the best Olympic swimmer of all time, indulging in the use of marijuana from a bong surfaced after he had already participated in the Olympics.  He admitted that the picture was prior to the Olympics, but it was not released to the media until the Olympics were over.  Phelps endured a 3-month suspension and went back to training.   Richardson was smoking during the Olympic trials (DUH!) and was given a 30-day suspension. She was supposed to have 3 months but agreed to take a drug course to reduce the time.  Her suspension runs directly into the Olympic genesis.  Yes, Phelps happens to be white, and yes Richardson happens to be black, but there is no need to reach for the race card.  This is how we errode issues that are really about race.  This is a human issue, an emotional help issue, life issue or perhaps a lack of community support issue.

Sha’Carri is a young lady and a high-performance athlete. We need to remind ourselves that she is still a kid, someone’s child, a sibling, a family member, a friend. She is still trying to find her way in this unforgiving world and like any young person her age, the load of life is heavy.  She is still in the trial-and-error phase.  The spotlight she stands in only makes her plate heavier to carry.  21 is the age of the child/adult conflict–where the law says you’re an adult but behavior is often contrary.  There is a real struggle for some to transition and release childhood or childlike tendencies.   Sha’Carri Richardson should be a reminder to check on our young people.  A smile on their faces could easily be a façade.

Sha’Carri has accepted the fact that she won’t be able to participate in the 2021 Tokyo games.   She said,“this is the last time I will be missing the Olympics.”   I say applaud her. She made no excuses, she wasn’t double minded or confused about her infraction.  She bravely looked the world in the eye, stood tall and owned her mistake.  That is the sign of a true champion and maturity.   Keep your eyes on Sha’Carri Richardson because she is coming back stronger and more determined. This is one small setback leading to the setup of a future Olympic legacy.

If you or anyone you know is in need of grief or drug counseling, please call the 24/7, 365 days a year, National helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.

Photo credit: NBC News

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Oh the Smith’s! https://lisaandrasheida.com/oh-the-smiths/ https://lisaandrasheida.com/oh-the-smiths/#respond Tue, 16 Jun 2020 16:35:50 +0000 https://lisaandrasheida.com/?p=1 Well…we’ve all been invaded with “more” insight about Jada and Will. If that is what you wanna call it. I am not sure it was a shocker or anything unexpected...

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Well…we’ve all been invaded with “more” insight about Jada and Will. If that is what you wanna call it. I am not sure it was a shocker or anything unexpected as they have shared their unconventional look at life and their relationship. Personally, I don’t mind their stories. I (we) find them refreshingly complicated and honest. They are willing to be “open” about their lives. Their definition of relationships (friendship, marriage, family, love) is put on the line for the world to examine.  The Smith’s are more courageous than the crew on Star Trek.  Kirk, Bones and Spock boldly go “where no man has gone before”.  The Smiths go where others have gone, but are afraid to talk about out-loud!  We all know that folks talk about it behind your back (let’s keep it real).  Then they are crazy enough to talk about it at the “Red Table”.   As for the Bennett’s, we are a little unconventional too, so it’s cool. We have not allowed society to dictate “marriage” or other relationships for us either.  If we did, obviously, we would NOT be married.

I give the Smiths credit.  They don’t need the money or the exposure. Yet, they are willing to lay it on the line. Couples suffer in silence everyday. They feel scared, alone, isolated, confused and betrayed.  We live in a society who tries to define marriage for us and make us all live up to a fantasy.  There is no fairy tale–perfect situation or marriage.  While there is plenty of marital success, the 80/20 rule pretty much applies to every facet of life including marriage.  I respect them for being naked and taking the risk for others to learn.  I get them and agree with a lot when it comes to marriage. Every marriage has been to the brink or seen dark days…but ultimately you make the commitment to make it work. If you wanna stay married that’s the deal PERIOD!

So, why was this newsworthy?  Someone, I never heard of, told the “secret”!  I was told that I don’t listen to the radio enough to know him (Alsina).  OK, I accept that as fact.  Others are discussing how unfair the “entanglement” was to him.  Maybe a part of that is even true.  But, I still can’t figure out why we (the general public) needed this information. Who really wanted to know?  In fairness to him, the interviewer did ask him to “clear up the rumor”.  But that is where this train comes off the track.

It seems to me that his intent was to discuss his album and his personal growth.  He had a great message about self discovery, love and hope for humanity!  He took a journey that a lot of people don’t until well after 30 years old.  I applaud him for seeking his authentic truth.   I am happy for his ability to assess and make the decision to transform, forgive and find purpose.  Ironically, it was also Pinket-Smith’s own journey that got her into this situation.

He tackled some pretty heavy issues that I believe all kids and parents pass through. I say “pass through” because I pray that it is a temporary state.  I too recall adults who made statements like “kids should be seen and not heard” or “of course, I love you.  I go to work everyday to provide for you”.  Sometimes kids really didn’t know what to conclude from those kinds of remarks. I also learned that some people (parents) didn’t get certain affirmations.  A lot of our parents were busy enough trying to affirm their own brokenness.  They were navigating some of the same racial complexities, salary disparities and educational deficits that way are still dealing with today.  Some of them received even less affirmation and therefore couldn’t give those things. They give what they know.  Our parents were bigger, but maybe more scared then we were at times.  Overtime and with maturity we let them off the hook. We adjust our expectations in order to move on in a healthy manner.  Love and reconciliation is the ultimate win. Alsina’s interview was full of good stories and messages.  

I agree with him that people often wait for permission to go after freedom.  Right now black America is saying loudly, “we are no longer asking.  We are not going to accept promises, behaviors and circumstances that dishonor us as a community.  We are no longer going to wait for your permission to become entrenched in finding or walking in our own purpose.”  But it took us a long time to arrive at this point.  One could argue that we are too forgiving, patient or passive.  You can choose.

I loved his acknowledgement when he said, “certain things make people make bad decisions in the moment”.  I completely agree.  We have all been there.  Hopefully, we learn before we repeat the mistake, resulting in regrets.   He goes on to say he has forgiven himself.  When asked about the rumors with Pinkett-Smith, his answer “I am not a troublemaker. I also don’t think it’s ever important for people to know what I do. Who I sleep with or who I date”.  That should have been the end of his answer.   The decision he made in that moment compromised the impact of his entire message.  That important message he gave prior got overshadowed by the headline he created in that moment.  By offering information that was not really helpful to honoring his journey, he undermined his message which offered content that was far more important. Or, did he?  Hold that thought.

After hearing both sides of the story.  I am not at all surprised about the relationship.  Broken people become codependent.  Ask anyone who has ever been in any kind of recovery program.  Participants are warned over and over again not to become romantically “entangled” with their sponsors/counselors.  It’s a common battle. It’s a known factor.

Then there are folks who felt the “entanglement” was unfair to him. Marriage is complicated!  My wife and I have a saying, “marriage is not for punks!” You go through a lot of valleys.  Waiting until someone is 100% free is the only hope, not guarantee, of getting with him or her.  I am a big NBA basketball fan, so this is an easy analogy.  Michael Jordan was the franchise player.  If you are a bench player–you only get to play when MJ is hurt or he needs a break.   But as long as MJ is available and partially healthy, you are riding the bench. It is that simple!  When you accept a role/side position–you only get to play when the star is not available (ie: entanglement).  So get your own team because Jada was still signed to Team Smith for better or worse.  That IS marriage!

Now, with all that being said, I still wonder about the motive. I am a bit old school and facts are facts.

  • This was between two legal consenting (damaged) adults
  • Honoring his journey had nothing to do with confirming the status of that relationship to the world. 
  • He can’t tweet, “Mess is constantly inserting yourself in topics you have nun to do w/nun.”  Remember he started the entire fire storm by expanding on the answer 
  • He doesn’t get empathy or sympathy for getting into another man’s bed when it doesn’t have the outcome he wanted.
  • I wonder, would he have said anything at all–if she had chosen him?
  •  As was pointed out, I never heard of him. I still haven’t heard any of his songs, but I now know his name!  He became world wide famous to everyone anywhere instantly.  
  • Lastly, it was kinda a “punk” move to tell wasn’t it? 
  • That confirmation didn’t extend love.  It extended pain (if to no one else–their kids).

Again, we don’t have to like or approve how they define marriage.  It is between them and it obviously works for them at least 80% of the time.  If I had a problem with it—I would simply NOT watch the show.  If you have a problem with it…change the channel (or stream something different).  But consider this… If some people spent this much time defining their own marriages, they might’ve stayed married, gotten married or realized it wasn’t for them from the start.  Either way marriage is NOT a community service project!  It’s between those 2 people.

By the way, doesn’t America have enough “real” problems with race, gender in equality, human trafficking, a pandemic and police brutality to address?  Why did we need this distraction?

Jada did confirm that he is not a homewrecker.  But I still gotta wonder about the motive.  Remember record deals are really just BIG ASS loans.  I wonder if it was time to make that payment?  If that was the case…well played young man.  That is one theory.   IJS.

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